I often get questioned as to why I don’t have a boyfriend. I often answer that question with a question. Do I have to have a boyfriend? In today’s society almost everyone is in a relationship and if they’re between relationships they’re dating multiple people or as some like to say “playing the field”.
It seems the line between dating and being in a relationship has become blurred to the point where some people think that being in a relationship is the same as dating. However dating, as it was known in the past, refers to the process of getting to know other people of the opposite sex. It doesn’t mean we have now committed ourselves to the other person, it just means our aim is to learn more about the other person under neutral and fun conditions. Nothing more, nothing less. A relationship is something a little more serious, at least that’s what I like to think.
But it seems in this day and age serious + relationship do not go together. So many more of us want to be free agents, to date and date and then date some more. The minute we feel a relationship with someone is getting too serious we then want to get out of it almost instantly. The fear of commitment is turning us into serial daters – that way we can be with someone but we know that we never have to think about making that commitment to anyone.
Besides, who wants to be in a committed relationship anyway? Being a serial-dater means that we can have our cake and eat it as well.
Call me old-fashioned, but the notion of marriage is still the ultimate of any relationship. I don’t think I want to be in a relationship for ten years only for us to break-up after those ten years. As I read it in the Bible, God didn’t intend for us to be serial daters. In Genesis 1:28 and Genesis 2 we read about the creation of man and the early story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. God could have made Adam many women to decide whom he wanted to be with and procreate with, however he only chose to make one, Eve. That to me signifies that there is one person God intends us to be with. Yes, with 7 billion people on this earth we do have the right to choose, but its the process of choosing that we must not get caught up in.
We read about people who have been on 54 dates in one year, but they still have not found someone to share their lives with. This clearly demonstrates serial dating is not as exciting as it may appear.
For me, dating is not a priority. I know one day I will be in a happy, committed relationship with someone and I will be happy when that day comes. But for now, I’m also more than happy being single. Just remember… when we start to play games with our emotions and other peoples emotions as well things can only go one way – downhill.
So lets have fun, but also have fun for the right reasons and in the right spirit.